STEVE BEBEE HATES CHRISTMAS
Christmas is canceled in Cave Creek. It was recently announced that the Calendar Committee at Cactus Shadows will not be releasing students for Winter (Christmas) Break until December 23, interfering with students plan to travel out of town.
Bebee says this is just the way the day’s fall in the week but made no motion for the committee to reassemble.
Other holidays were given recondition: “(For Halloween I’m going to) be a dad and stay at home and watch Monday night football,” said Bebee. When asked of his favorite Thanksgiving food he said “all of it.” With these other holidays receiving administrative praise, Christmas is left in the dust.
“I refuse to go Black Friday shopping,” said Bebee. While his wife gets up at five to go gift shopping, Bebee says he only prefers to shop for himself.
Even shopping on the discount for others is out of the question. “I can’t say that I have (ever been thrift shopping),” said Bebee.
The inherit dislike of the birth of Santa Claus even extends to the air conditioners as new electronic ones will be installed preventing the intense chill known as a Winter Wonderland to occur in any room.
“I had no idea Steve had a problem with my little operation,” said Kris Kringle, popular holiday home invader. Kringle has not seen Bebee since December 25 of last year.
“I thought we were pretty good friends I mean I took his family out for boiled goose… he seemed to really hit it off with the little people in my shop too,” laments Kringle.
There is a reason why Christmas and conflict begin with the same letter: if the school loses the override, it could also lose its A+ ranking. “I know I have a lot of supporters and can swing the vote better then Kevin Costner but if Steve isn’t dishin’ out the cookies I see no reason to grant my support,” critsizes Kringle.
An official move to the naughty list has yet to be confirmed.
Steve Bebees change in attitude towards Christmas was met with speculation if Judaism was in the future. Bebee dispelled these rumors by announcing Jewish holidays would only be off if the calendar dates fall on them.
“אני לא מבין מדוע הוא מתנגד כל כך סטיב לחגים דצמבר,” said Rabbi Abel, popular spiritual instructor.
Kwanza was never addressed in the press conference.
